"Saya nak ke Sungai Ruan karang, nak isi minyak", aku kata kat mak masa balik dari masjid subuh tadi.
"Boleh cari makanan", kata mak. Maksud mak tuh, bolehlah beli apa-apa untuk breakfast sebab rasanya ada dua tiga orang Melayu berniaga makanan kat kaki lima di Sungai Ruan bandar Cina tuh.
"Saya bukan nak pergi sekarang, nak pergi lambat sikit", aku kata gitu. Bagi aku, apa perlunya beli makanan kat Sungai Ruan, kat kedai depan tempat aku selalu breakfast tu kan ker ada? Apa bezanya nasi lemak di situ dengan nasi lemak di Sungai Ruan? Sama-sama tak sedap jugak kan?
Aku breakfast kat kedai hujung, dah lama aku tak ke situ. Kalau di situ memang makan nasi pulut aje lah sebab cuma itu sama nasi lemak yang dijual.
"Aok nih anak (arwah) Pok De kan? Aok dudok dengan mok ker? Bagerh (bagus) lah", kata this one guy sambil bersalam dengan aku.
"Dulu dengan arwah ayoh aok terh (tu) kome memang baik, b'borak sokmo", kata that guy lagi.
"Aok nih anok hok maner se (satu)? Hok lama dudok Amerika sampe tak balik-balik tu ker?", dia sambung.
Dafuq does that mean?
From his jaundice eyes tuh aku tahu yang ada banyak cerita buruk-buruk dan tak baik pasal aku.
"Tak apa lah, senang-senang kalau ada masa nanti kita bercerita", kata that guy lagi.
Seriously, dah banyak kali aku ditanya dengan nada yang that guy tuh tanya tadi. And I don't like it, malaslah aku tulis panjang-panjang, tak tahu pun nak explain how I feel tapi I cringe every time aku ditanya macam tuh.
Listen buddy,
I don't do regret.
And I shouldn't do guilt, either.
Both are completely wasted emotions and there is nothing you can do about either of them.
There are things in my past that I wish I didn't go through because they sucked - but really, I made it through them and they turned me into who I am today and that person is quite a badass hehehehe. And so I'm glad I went through what I did.
Guilt on the other hand, I have felt guilty about a lot of things.
I mean really, what good does it do to feel guilty about anything? If you feel guilty it's usually because you wished that you made a different decision. But usually there's nothing you can do about it by the time you feel guilty about it so just move on lah kan? Life's too short.
But seriously buddy, regret is dumb.
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Aku beli kan mak laksam sebab nasi kerabu (mak's favorite) tak ada pulak harinih.
"Matnyer sampe seraterh (seratus) lebih, dulu tu lima puluh ringgit jer?", mak tanya.
"Minyak yang mahal jer tinggalnya, dulu tuh tak isi penuh, tadi tu penuh tangki, itu sampai seratus lebih tu", aku jawab gitu.
The rest of the day macam biasa. So tak payah tulis lah. Sebab aku tiba-tiba jadi malas nak tulis nih. Nak layan main games kat FB pulak.
